I would like to make this a long distance dedication

Last night Ana made up a song.
One line of the song was, "I'm brave and sticky!"

I told Brad that story today. He asked what all of us ask, "What does that even mean?"

I... I don't want to know.

Be careful out there... apparently...

Brad is back on his busy, busy work schedule. They play summer performances around town, which are called the "Sounds Like Fun" series. It couldn't be a less appropriate phrase. The ridiculously named series has a matching shirt that the musicians have to wear. A bright red shirt with the catchy slogan.

I love calling out to him, "Sounds like fun!" as he walks out the door. I've loved doing that for years.

Ana's "thing" lately is to close the door for Brad as he leaves for his concert. She holds the door open until he closes the main garage door behind him.
"Watch out for the booby-traps!, "Ana calls out.

She is insistent on closing the door and warning him of the peril that awaits as he goes to his concert.
"Watch out for the booby traps... and alligators... and... and... and the booby traps!"

Yes. Apparently, you need to put on your tight, red embarrassing shirt and watch out for the booby traps, honey.
Doesn't THAT sound like fun?

War stories

You've heard the war stories. The parent anecdotes of raising toddlers. Parents "turn their heads for a second" and anarchy and mayhem take over. Something gets destroyed or someone gets embarrassed. Cats are covered with petroleum jelly, sharpie markers on the wall and red paint ends up on 9 walls that were not supposed to be red (stories courtesy of Teal, Warren and Bob, respectively).

These stories of raising toddlers represent a very, very small portion of parenting... and yet these stories are retold and make their way into parenting lore. They are the stories that frighten young couples into just taking a "little more time" to themselves before starting their families.

The sad part is... most of the stories are the parent's fault. I mean... you can see the ending coming. These stories are really the "ball to the crotch funniest home videos" of parenting. I mean... what do you THINK is going to happen when you leave a kid in a room with box of 20 washable crayons and 1 non-washable RED crayon?

This is what happens:


I mean - you might as well set up a tee-ball and and have a father stand a foot away from getting a take-down shot to the shorts. Video tape it, send it in and get your money. OF COURSE the guy gets it in the balls. OF COURSE I have red crayon all over my carpet, tile and coffee table.
COME ON!

By the way, you get red crayon off of wood furniture by using mayonnaise. Getting mayonnaise off of furniture is only the 2nd problem...

The next day, I found my shoes full of cat food. I'm not pointing any fingers, but I'm pretty sure I made the person who did it. I'm equally as sure that I'll tell this story to the next newlywed couple that crosses my path. Watch out, young couples... I'm saving these gems for you.