Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Bars and Fairies

It occurred to me the other morning that my life is in a constant state of lower standards. I’m not complaining, mind you. This is just an observation. It has probably made me a happier person (not that being happy was ever a problem for me)… but still.

For example, I remember a time in my marriage when I would be genuinely annoyed with my husband for the WAY he folded towels. “You’re 30+ years old, fortheloveofgod,” I would complain. “You can’t take two sides of a towel and fold them together? Seriously?!”

I controlled all aspects of organization and towel folding. I can’t tolerate incompetence in my closets.

Flash forward 4 years and 2 children later:The other morning, I opened the bathroom closet to get a towel and saw all of our towels (for the ENTIRE house, mind you… not just for this particular bathroom) jammed into and falling off of the shelves. My first thought upon seeing the disaster in the bathroom closet was, “awww… he put away the towels… how sweet!”

Lowered bar.


As a new mom, I constantly lowered the bar of expectations for events, daily activities… sleep. I did not get to take my kids home from the hospital on the day I was discharged. My kids were attached to wires and monitored for breathing.

As a mom to twin 3 year olds, I’m constantly lowering the bar for what we wear and expectations for family outings (“This may not go as planned” is still a mantra in our house).

I’m not saying I accept less from life.

I’m saying that I’m constantly redefining priorities. I don’t let things that don’t mater impact my happiness or stress level. (Ana, you want to wear black boy pants with a pink nightshirt to the store? Ok. Get in the car.)

There are things that are still important to me: Spending time with my girls; healthy, planned family meals; time with my husband; a clean kitchen (I can’t give this up)… you get the idea.

… I’m just noticing this bar can go really, really low. I mean... low.

So, I need to sacrifice the rest of what would have been an AMAZING blog ending to fold laundry.

Life moves by so fast. Sometimes you need to lower the bar, chase the fairies and embrace it all.


Sarah said...

I don't think that it's lowering the bar. I look at it as a sort of new normal. Like when we clean the house thoroughly each Friday night so we can enjoy a clean house for at least 2 days. Well, ok by Sunday morning it looks the same as it did Friday, but like I said, new normal.

TexasPrimalSurfWahine said...

I agree that it is not really lowering the bar. Perhaps it is letting go of the bar to grab the more snuggly parts of life. Especially the parts that sport fairy wings.

Amanda said...

It's not really lowering the bar, it's more like you're adjusting your expectations to reality (when WILL I get over the fact that my husband will NOT put down the toilet seat?).

Love love love your fairy! I wanna chase one!